


Falling

by ashamtly



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x10 Coda, Alec Lightwood-centric, Angst and Feels, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, kind of, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 19:32:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14722244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashamtly/pseuds/ashamtly
Summary: .....he extends his arms as if they were wings to feel it better., and wonders why Raziel didn´t give them wings like all the angels.-Maybe 'cause we are destined to fall- he voices aloud, destined to fall in love, to fall in battle, to fall...





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> So... yeah I don´t even know what is this, but it has been on my head for a while since I saw the midseason finale, so... hope you like it?
> 
> Hopefully, now I'll be able to continue with my other fics.
> 
> Also, side note this is my first Shadowhunters fic, I don't have a Beta and English is not my first language so,,, I´m sorry in advance

Last time he was here, he was too busy feeling guilty and thinking about jumping, to really appreciate the magnificent view of New York City; the wind, the shining lights, the sounds...

Now, though he feels like jumping, it is not the same. He doesn´t want to die, not really, but sometimes he can´t help but wonder if it would make a difference if it wouldn´t make it all better, if... it would hurt that badly, if.....

Standing there, looking at the City bellow, he can´t help but wonder how much it would hurt? would his angel blood make him able to survive even if he doesn´t activate his runes?

It´s not that he wants to die, is just that sometimes simply falling seems so...

 

"DON´T YOU SEE THERE´S NOTHING LEFT! I GAVE ALL UP TO SAVE YOUR PRECIOUS..."

 

-There's no rest for the wicked- he mumbles to himself, now looking to the sky above

 

He used to wonder if there was something beyond, waiting for him on the other side, ´cause though shadowhunters are raised differently, knowing from the get-go that they will almost certainly die before age 33; in some ways, shadowhunters are very similar to mundanes.

There are angels, demons, and Edom, but for as much as they know, there might not be such a thing as heaven...

He used to think/wish there was such a place, but now..., now he can´t help but hope there isn´t, can´t help but hope death really is the end.

Again, not because he wants to die, he doesn't, or at least he thinks he doesn't want to (there's so much to live for, isn't there?), it just seems tiring to think there's no rest, that there's, even more, living waiting for him on the other side.

And air current ruffles his hair, and so he extends his arms as if they were wings to feel it better., and wonders why Raziel didn´t give them wings like all the angels.

 

-Maybe 'cause we are destined to fall- he voices aloud, destined to fall in love, to fall in battle, to fall...

 

He looks down to the City below and thinks about falling, about...

 

-Alexander...- it's almost less than a whisper but he hears it, he always hears him

 

He turns around and there he is, looking nothing like the man he fell in love with, with no glitter, nor make-up on, disheveled clothes and unkempt hair.

 

-I thought you were sleeping- he offers, knowing without needing to look at Magnus distressed face that he should have said something different in order to make the former High warlock of Brooklyn understand that it's not what it looks like, that he wasn't about to...

 

-Why don't we go inside, have a drink and cuddle some on the coach?- Magnus offers, extending his arm while trying to hide the anguish in his eyes.

 

He looks at it and remembers...

 

_"When things get crazy, don´t push me away"_

 

He remembers Magnus asking him to leave the loft after asking for one of his hairs, he remembers Magnus not talking to him for days (waking up on a cold bed) after the whole body swap thing, Magnus breaking up with him in the Institute, Magnus...

He jumps off the ledge safely onto the terrace, takes Magnus hand and thinks about falling

 

-I will get it back- he promises to the love of his life, though he knows for the expression on his face that he hasn´t figured out yet what he´s talking about.

 

Doesn't matter, he will get it back for Magnus, even if that means falling...

 

 

 


End file.
